Rockford's Nutrition FAQ's

Everything that doesn't fit into the other forums. Discuss it at Café Rockford. Beer is for free!

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johnomg
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Rockford's Nutrition FAQ's

Post by johnomg »

Rockford's Nutrition FAQs

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it ....don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat, hay and corn. And what are these, vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). A pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain: Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact! They are permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans.....another vegetable!!! "It's the best feel-good food around!"

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie....flour is a veggie!

One more thing: "When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and salt."
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Arno
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Post by Arno »

I thought Rockford eats only 3 things: dirt, diamonds and open exits! :lol:
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johnomg
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Post by johnomg »

Maybe Rockford is looking to improve his Diet by searching Cabbage Patchs :wink:

It can be called: Rockford - The Gas Attack :thumbsup:
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Post by Sendy »

Farting could be a new way of moving boulders :oops:
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johnomg
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Post by johnomg »

Sendy wrote:Farting could be a new way of moving boulders :oops:
:idea: Even better yet, have a space with a Flame in it, Rockford backs into it, pops off and is jet propelled across the cave to beat the growing Amobea :lol:
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Post by cirix »

Sendy wrote:Farting could be a new way of moving boulders :oops:
Well, if I would code it in a way that when pressing fire+left, rockford turns right (only graphically, of course), and pressing fire+right, rockford turns left, it would exactly look like that. :twisted:
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Sendy
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Post by Sendy »

cirix wrote:
Sendy wrote:Farting could be a new way of moving boulders :oops:
Well, if I would code it in a way that when pressing fire+left, rockford turns right (only graphically, of course), and pressing fire+right, rockford turns left, it would exactly look like that. :twisted:
That's how I envisioned it as well :)

Maybe you could put it in as an easter egg :lol:
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johnomg
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Post by johnomg »

If you give Rockford a Beer Belly, allow him to scratch his Butt and Belch then you could call it the Aussie Version :wink:
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Post by cirix »

johnomg wrote:If you give Rockford a Beer Belly, allow him to scratch his Butt and Belch then you could call it the Aussie Version :wink:
Scratching his butt one time (instead of blinking), his belly at the other (instead of foot tapping), and sometimes both at the same time :)
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